


Dancing in the Rain - A Nesta x Cassian Modern AU

by tacmc



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: ACOTAR - Freeform, ACOWAR, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Love, Mates, Nessian - Freeform, Sarah J Maas, acofas - Freeform, acomaf, adoration, sjm - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23687938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacmc/pseuds/tacmc
Summary: Cassian and his daughter reminisce about his late wife.
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Dancing in the Rain - A Nesta x Cassian Modern AU

Once a year, they went to the ocean, just him and his daughter.

This was their seventeenth trip, and he was amazed she still wanted to go with him. Seventeen years old, and she looked just like her mother - long, golden-brown hair, and soft blue eyes with a hint of gray.

“Will you tell me a story?” she asked, glancing at her father through her side eye. “Of you two when you were younger?”

She loved hearing stories of her parents from Cassian – and he had to admit, he told them best.

“Let me think of a good one,” he smiled, wrapping an arm around his daughter.

Should he have told her of the time they met? In high school, when he bothered the hell out of her every single day until she finally said she would go on a date with him. When he waited at her locker after every class until he would see her, and she would roll her eyes, but when she looked away, he would see her smile. Every time.

Should he have told her of their first date? When he waited outside her front door for fifteen minutes, preparing what he was going to say, before he even rang the doorbell. When his hands were shaking, because he wanted so badly to not mess it up. He wanted her, the girl with the golden-brown hair and stormy-blue eyes. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. And he wanted her to have fun, to walk away from the night with a smile on her lips and a plan for date number two.

Should he have told her of their first kiss? After the basketball game on Friday night. It had been raining for three days straight, and Nesta claimed to hate the rain. That’s because you’ve never danced in it, Cassian had claimed. She thought he was crazy, of course, but that was nothing new. He dragged her by the hand, out from under the landing behind the school, and pulled her close to him. She had never looked so beautiful to Cassian as she did then – the hood of her rain jacket pulled up, the tips of her hair dripping wet, her cheeks tinted crimson, and wonder in her eyes. He fell in love with her in that moment, and he kissed her. Pressed his lips softly against hers amidst the storm.

Cassian remembered their first time, but not because it was one he would ever share, with anyone, especially not his child. But, when he was going down memory lane, it was one of the first to pop into his mind. She was nervous, but she took charge. They had just graduated high school, and they had ditched the party with their class to stay in. Maybe it was because they had too many cups-full of strawberry wine, but they found the courage to take that extra step. They loved each other, and they longed to be nearer. Cassian would never forget the way her skin felt against his, how he felt like he was dreaming the entire time, as her gentle lips pressed against various places of his body. When it was over, and they were staring into each other’s eyes in nothing but the moonlight, Cassian knew that she was the one. And he was never letting her go.

Maybe he should have told her about the time he asked her to marry him. He had a big evening plan – he was going to take her to dinner, then for a walk through the park, then lead her down by the river, and that’s when he was going to pop the question. But, when Cassian went to pick her up, her eyes were red and swollen, her nose puffy, the light from her eyes dimmed. I’m sorry. I’m sick. It came out of nowhere. He just smiled and led her back inside. He had made her soup, and played with her hair, and then told her that there was something he had to do before he lost his mind. I love you, Nesta. I never want to live this life without you. I want to grow old with you. I want to give you beautiful babies, that look just like you. I want to love you, unconditionally, for the rest of my life. Nesta – She didn’t even let him finish before she was saying yes, yes, yes, until he pushed the small, diamond ring onto her finger.

Or, maybe he should have told her about the day her mother told him she was pregnant. They were still engaged, they hadn’t even set a date. She’d come out of the bathroom from throwing up for the tenth time that morning, holding something behind her back. She approached him, cautiously, as he was eating his breakfast. What’s wrong? He had asked, immediately. She broke down in tears as she smiled, and told him the news. Cass. We’re having a baby. He wrapped her in her arms as his eyes lined with silver. He was going to be a father. He was going to be a dad. And he was fucking terrified. But he knew he would be okay, he knew they would all be just fine. Because what they had could conquer anything.

Should he have told her about the day she told him about her other news? The news that was not so great. The news that would crush his soul, would break his spirit, would make him believe that there was some higher power punishing him for the mistakes he had made in his younger years. I’m sick, Cass. They’re saying that I may not make it through childbirth. He had wept. He had yelled, and screamed, and thrown things. He had fallen on his knees and prayed, had called out to anyone who was listening, anyone who would save her. Don’t punish her. Please. She’s done nothing wrong. I need her. I need her. I love her. Please.

Should he have told her about the day her parents sat in the hospital, awaiting her arrival, unsure about her mother’s fate? They sat together, hand in hand, Cassian clinging onto his fiancé, his love, for dear life. He wouldn’t stop, couldn’t stop, telling her how much he loved her. I love you, Cass. I love you, and no matter what happens, I will always love you, I will always be with you. He shook his head. He couldn’t hear her talk like that, like she was saying goodbye. I’m scared. Her smile was wistful at his confession. I know. But you’re going to be a great father.

Should he have told her about the next day? The next morning, to be exact, at 6:23 a.m. The morning when he was holding a small infant, wrapped in a pink, knitted blanket, in the same room that his future wife had taken her last breath in. The day his life changed. The day that continued to haunt him for seventeen years.

As Cassian sat with his daughter on the hilltop overlooking the ocean, he smiled, a tear sliding down his tanned cheek as he did so. “She woke up in the middle of the night, once. She shook me awake, and I thought something was wrong, considering she was four months pregnant with you. But, I opened my eyes, and she was laughing. I know what we should name her, she said. And after I complained that I’m sure it could have waited until morning, she gave me one name: Lily. When I asked her why, she looked at me like I was stupid as she said, Don’t you remember? You brought me lilies on our first date.”

“She wanted to name me Lily?”

Cassian nodded.

“What did you want to name me?”

Cassian thought about it before he responded, “Cassianette. I would have settled for Cassandra, though. Or Cassian Jr.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” They fell into a comfortable silence before she asked, “Is that your favorite memory? Or mom?”

He shook his head. “No. I would have to say my favorite memory is the night we danced in the rain. That was the night that changed everything.”

Lily smiled, wiping her father’s tears as she shook her head. “I think about her a lot. I wish I could have met her.”

Cassian nodded. “I wish you could have, too, sweetheart. I wish you could have, too.”

Once a year, Cassian and his daughter went to the ocean on the anniversary of her death. They would sit there for hours, and Cassian would tell her stories. They would laugh, and they would cry, and they would wish that they could see her, if only for an hour, a minute, a second, to let her know just how much they loved her, still.

**Author's Note:**

> Read on tumblr: https://tacmc.tumblr.com/post/166794312361/dancing-in-the-rain-nessian 
> 
> Thanks for reading. x


End file.
